I Hate Mondays

Mondays suck, even if you don't have a job. If you do have a job, they suck for the obvious reasons. If you don't have a job, they still suck, as they are a reminder that you don't have a job. It's the beginning of the work week cycle for everybody else. But for losers like youself it's the exact same as the next day. There is no purpose, no schedule, no natural order to life.

Now I'm on this downward spiral. Negativety breeds more negativety. I can't get a job because I have lost all faith in my ability to get a job. Some days the effort it takes to even apply for jobs is more than I am able to expend.

Earlier today I was searching job sites, reading blogs etc. I started to get more and more depressed until I was sobbing at my computer. I went to the pool, sat in the sun and caught up on some (non-electronic) correspondence. I felt much better. But I had to come inside after about an hour to eat and get ready for an appointment. 15 minutes later, I was sobbing again. I don't think it's bullshit that the sun is healthy for one's mood.

I have mild asthma. It doesn't bother me too much except in the spring and when I get a bad cold. I thought moving to the desert would be good for it, but it seems to have gotten worse. I blame all the f-ing second hand smoke.

I hate my inhaler. I am offended that I need help with something as basic as breathing.